Relationship expert Gary Chapman coined the term “love language” after coming up with the idea that everyone understands and receives love in a different language. There are five love languages: acts of service, physical touch, quality time, words of affirmation, and receiving gifts. And speaking your partner’s love language can not only make your relationship better, it can improve your sex life too.
It all comes down to communication, which is crucial for intimacy. Knowing what your partner likes and what doesn’t work for them helps you enjoy sex more and understanding their love language helps with all of that. Don’t know your love language? You can find out with this 30-question quiz on Chapman’s website. Of course, everyone has different preferences, but speaking your sweetie’s love language could lead to better sex.
- Acts of service - This can be taking the time to focus solely on your partner’s pleasure or just doing something you know really turns them on. Or it could even be bringing them a drink or wrapping them up in a blanket after sexy time.
- Physical touch - It may seem like a given during sex, but there are ways to explore different types of touch, like sensual massage, temperature play and just brushing up against your partner in the kitchen.
- Quality time - Those with this love language will appreciate scheduling a date night and devoting time to sex, including minimizing distractions, taking things slowly and giving them your full attention.
- Words of affirmation - These types will appreciate lots of positive feedback about the relationship and their bedroom skills and they might be into talking during sex, too.
- Receiving gifts - If this is your partner, you could surprise them with new bedroom accessories, like massage oil or lingerie, or get creative and write an erotic story for them or give them sexy vouchers to cash in. Being thoughtful goes a long way with this love language, but it could be as simple as having their favorite snack for a post-sex treat.
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